Take it for What it's worth Thursday

Disclaimer for this part of the schedule:  It really is what the title says, take it for what it's worth.  It is my advice, my opinion, my view, my life, my trials.  Yours may be different and thank the Lord above that we all experience life differently.  I hate that I must bring it up, but......please be respectful.  I will try and avoid negativity, please do so as well.  I will not tolerate rudeness.  No matter what medium, rudeness is unnessary and down right unchristlike.  Just please follow this old simple rule...if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.

Beautiful Heartbreak by Hilary Weeks

I have been very flattered that a few people have come to me in the last week and told me that this song reminded them of me.  The first time I heard this song I cried and I totaly felt like it had explained my journey.  Many of you only know about the infertility part.  There is so much more that has happened over the last 6 years of my life that has caused me much pain, much regret, much anger, and much heartache. 

Since coming home to Utah, I have found so much peace.  A peace that can only be explained through the atonement of Jesus Christ.  I feel like He is purifying my heart and to be honest, this is the first time I have really let Him.  My openness to His will has changed me.  It has taken away so much of the heartache I have felt for years.  The Spirit has come and calmed my anxiety and my aching heart.  Most of all, I have been able to see His will for me and have been able to mold my actions toward that will.

I am blessed everyday to let go of more and more, to see the things that really eternally matter, and to walk in a way that I am proud and confident in myself.  I am also blessed with the most outstanding support system.  My family never fails to lift me up when I am down and have faith in my abilities and my future.  I am also lucky to have a couple close friends who have been unnwavering in thier loyalty and love for me.  I used to think I wanted the biggest party on the block but really I would be fine if only these few people showed up.

I can't really give too much advice on how to achieve this, honestly.  The reason being that we all have to choose for ourselves to open our hearts.  I heard the lessons for years and never really listened.  I think you just have to pray that you can let go of the bad stuff to make room for the good stuff.  One day the pain, guilt, and anger will be less.  If you diligently become your best self, the good does come.  I am a witness to it.  I have traveled there and I truely don't regret any minute of my pain cause I get to see this view. This view with more love, and faith, and peace that I have ever known.  It is my beautiful heartbreak.