January 2012.....
Been waiting for it to come. Insurance begins. Trying for baby #3. I am freakin out.
I have a confession. It's intense. I am a infertility wuss. I have been married for almost 8 years. 6 to 7 of those years have been "my infertility years" in reality I get pregnant really easy. I mean, I get on clomid, I am pregnant. This has happened twice. The issue is staying pregnant. After I miscarry, I take a infertility wussy break for ummmm 2 or 3 years. 7 years infertility. 5 months
on clomid. 4 months being pregnant. The rest of the time = wussy break.
I am not as awesome as the rest of you infertile people, like my sister. Within a 2 or 3 year period my sister had 4 miscarriages, a few IUIs, and IVF , preeclampsia, csection at 30 weeks, and a 2 month NICU stay resulting in my adorable chubby cheeked niece. She is a fighter, I am a wuss. I curl up in a ball in the corner.
The time has come. Time for me to fight as hard as I can and not stop. It is scary. Loss is scary. That is all I have ever known. It feels like I keep touching the hot stove over and over even though I know it burns. Please pray for me, I need strength and have to find endurance like I never have before.
January 2012.....the time has come.
0 comments:
Post a Comment